Thursday, January 7, 2010

A little something...

So, I have been fasting for 7 days now. I really struggled with the hows and what to do's of the process. I know from experience and medical issues that I cannot do a full fast, and so it has always been a struggle for me to decide how to go about a fast. I usually end up choosing the Daniel fast, which is what I started this journey doing. The thing is, this time I felt really convicted. Like right from the start I felt like I wasn't sacrificing, like it was no big deal to give up these things because I really don't much like meat and I already eat very little bread. So I have been going over and over it in my mind and have prayed for the Lord to please show me what I am to do. Well, tonight He did so in the form of another person's blog. This person was speaking of the internet and the social networks and how much time they steal from God and how he and his wife will give this up at a certain time of the day and will be full fasting one day a week. As I was reading this I became so convicted!! It was like yes Lord, that is it thank You!! I too take so much time from Him and give it to this little box. But see, if I am not on the social network I may miss something, or someone may miss me. It is insane! I have become more worried about others than I am about my relationship with the most incredible, amazing, loving, fun, and sensitive Man in my life....I have let myself be consumed by something other than Him.
I knew right away that this was for me. I re-posted a link for others and signed off. My computer will shut off at 5 pm, right about the time that most people are getting home from work, and won't come back on til morning. The only form of internet I am allowing myself is this blog if I feel compelled to journal and it is after 5.
But, I still didn't feel that I was really sacrificing. I asked again and this time I listened. It was so't it funny how when we finally listen it seems as though there should never have even been a question. He answered my question and now I know, I also know to keep it to myself for the simple fact that it is my sacrifice and won't be the same for another and I really need to hold myself accountable and only go to Him in this.
I have to say, I am very excited now to continue on in this journey. He has really been showing me some things, things that I may have known and ignored and things that I just didn't have a clue. Our God is so on loving...and such a wonderful Father, even when He has to discipline. I so want to be like Him!