Unstoppable Joy

Have you ever met a person that just always seems happy? That person that even in the midst of a massive storm still smiles, seems to have peace, seems to not struggle through their situation but instead seems almost to glide through it with grace?
I don't know about you, but I so long to be that person! I want people to look at me in the middle of a battle and still see patience, strength and grace. Even more than that, I hope they see joy. Joy that seems to be endless. Joy that is contagious. Joy that shows a true peace and contentment in any situation. I want them to ask how it is that I can be this way, where it comes from. You see, there is a great difference between joy and happiness, at least in my mind. To me happy comes from something. Another person or thing is in control of my environment. It is fleeting. It can be shaken. It can be taken. Joy, on the other hand, is deep seated. It isn't shaken and can't be taken. It is a state of being. It is contagious. It comes from an endless Source.
When we keep our focus on God, He fills us up. He makes us more like Him. His Presence will fill our very being. When we focus on God, He changes us from the inside out. Holy Spirit begins to produce fruit in our lives. Galatians 5:22 says, "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There are no laws against these things!"
Lord, as I step into today I just thank You for the opportunity to be more like You. I ask that today all that You give to me spills out onto the others that I come in contact with. God today I pray that You are at the forefront of everything that I do and say so that others will see You and want more of You in their lives. Father I just ask for humility today, to remember that everything that I have is because of You and needs to be given away. Strip me of myself today and everyday so that I can be effective for Your Kingdom, Lord. I love You Lord and want only to be like You, be for You and be with You God. Let the eyes of the broken be opened today and their hearts be softened to You God. These things I ask in the name of Your perfect Son.

"See, God has come to save me. I will trust in Him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song; He has given me victory." Isaiah 12:2 (NLT)

"So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace." Romans 8:6 (NLT)

The last few months I have been struggling with memory loss, word confusion and many other neurological symptoms. During this time, I have leaned heavily on God.  I really didn't know what to do except to rely on Him. Periodically fear would creep in when I would realize that I had yet again forgotten something or had called someone by the wrong name or couldn't even come up with the word I was looking for.
I finally broke down and sought the help of a doctor. I didn't really like what he had to say, and so instantly as I was hearing his words, I was giving them to God, asking Him what He said about this situation. I was thanking Him even for this test, asking Him to help me help my family because I knew that He was in control but not really fully reliant that they could handle what seemed to be coming.
The night before all the testing was to begin I just really told God how I felt, what I was afraid of, etc...but I also told Him that I totally trusted Him in this. Whatever happened, I would honor Him and people would see Him in it. You see, if only one person that I encountered along the road in this adventure could be turned to Him, I truly believe that it would be worth my suffering.
Let me tell you that every test came back perfectly normal. There is seemingly no explanation for the events of the last few months of my life. I can also tell you that my stammering/stuttering has ceased, I haven't forgotten a name and I haven't confused my words for a week now. It feels wonderful! My only explanation is that God healed me. I haven't had a headache, and I hadn't been free of that for many months. The wonderful part of that isn't so much that I am healed as it is that I believe that someone within the process was touched by God and I am so grateful to have been used.
During this time, I also needed to have an annual mammogram. I didn't even give this test any thought considering there were no symptoms, just something that needed done. Well, I had the test and received a call that afternoon that they had found "an abnormal and significant mass" in my left breast and I would need to come back in three days for further testing. I had such peace. I will admit, I was a little taken back, but truly had a peace about it all. I asked God to please just use this for His kingdom. The coolest thing happened, and I am not likely to forget any time soon.
I was driving myself to the center to have the tests done, it was about 7:15am. I had Jake Hamilton cranked up and I was full out worshiping. I took the exit ramp and something moved outside of my window. I looked over and flying right next to my car window for the full length of the ramp (it was a loop around ramp) was one single dove. It was beautiful! I was overcome by a peace that just seemed to settle deep into my soul. I began to cry and just thank God for whatever was about to take place in my life and no matter I would trust Him and honor Him and love Him.
I get to the center and go in for the first series of films. The nurse comes back and says the doc wants another set at a different angle. I go to the waiting area again when she is finished and she comes back to say that he wants yet another angle. This took place 4 times. She then came in to tell me that we now needed to go to the sonogram area. So we went and the whole way over, I just prayed and gave thanks. The doctor comes in and he says "We saw a significant lump in your films. However, this lump was not in the last series. So we are going to do a sonogram and just verify it's size and location." No worries. I watched as he rolled the little wand all around the area where the lump had just been and there was nothing. He looked at the nurse and looked at me and said "Well, this isn't the news I had expected to give you, but your breast tissue is healthy and we will see you back in one year for your annual screening." PRAISE JESUS!!!!
He didn't have to heal me! His love and His always being with me is so enough for every part of my life!  But He did! And so I knew that I had to share this news. He doesn't heal for me to just say thank You, I need to tell the world. I need to shout it from the wire! I can't help but go to Luke 17:17-19 "Jesus asked, 'Didn't I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?' And Jesus said to the man, 'Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you."
I thank You, Jesus for the incredible gift of healing You have blessed me with and I will not keep it to myself, Lord. No, I will tell everyone so that they, too, can see just how real You are, how attentive You are, how You don't overlook even a single desire when we just bring it all to You and know, in faith, that You have not only heard our cry but answered it. Father I just thank You for allowing me to be a testimony, God, that others can see You and know You. I love You and in Jesus name I thank You.

Have you ever been in the middle of a storm? I don't mean just your average run of the mill rainstorm here. I am talkin' bout that storm that is so violent you can't see through the raindrops because there are so many and they are so fast and furious. I am talkin' bout the storm that creates waves that you know are gonna knock you right out of that boat you are in. The kind of storm that shoots lightening and bangs thunder and the skies become as black as night only it's early morning.
Well.....I am livin' in one of those turbulent storms right now. I go from step to step not knowing what is going to come flying around the corner ready to hit me in the face. I get to a point where I think I have it figured out and WHAM .... there is that reminder that not only do I not have it figured out, I don't even know where to begin looking for the answers.
But can I tell you the craziest thing? I have so much peace that I can't even really get ruffled. Seriously, God has just filled me with this peace that I can't explain, I mean couldn't try if I wanted to. Not only am I at peace, but He has reminded me that He is ALWAYS in control. Nothing that is happening to me right has surprised Him at all.
Aside from the peace He has instilled in me is the provision He has already laid before me. Do you know that before I can even get my mind wrapped around the next "problem" that He has already provided an answer. Do you hear that?!? God....yes my wonderful Father....already knows exactly what I need before I even know myself and doesn't wait for me to ask, no, He just provides it!
I heard this somewhere this week and it has just stuck in my head...
"Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's storming now doesn't mean you aren't heading for sunshine."
How true is that! You know, the rainbow comes after the storm. The brightest sunshine, the wonderful smell of the grass and the dirt and the sun all the most noticeable after a storm. Even when the storm produces mass destruction, there is always something beautiful at the end.
This morning a friend sent me a message to read Psalm 91. I encourage you to read that today, but listen to just this little bit.
11-13 (ESV)"For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot."
Father I just thank You for the protection You place on my life Lord the provision that You put in place and that God You don't just provide what we need You pay attention to the little details those little things that make all the difference in our life and You bring that to pass and I just thank You that even in this storm I know that You are my Shelter that You will cushion my fall that You are already placing the sunshine on the path ahead so that I can feel the warmth and comfort of Your love now and see where You have pulled me through at the end Lord I just thank You and I love You and I trust You with every step before me

The Camel's Knees

The Lord has been directing me to the book of James this week. Though only 5 chapters long, it is a very powerful book! It is a book that calls me to action! There are so many lessons to be learned in this book....don't just talk the talk, walk the walk; if you speak it, let your actions reflect it; if you are a leader you will be judged harsher than someone else; one's motives must be pure; don't seek after things of the world. But let me tell you what shouted out loud to me just today.....a shout that echoed in my soul....
BRIDLE THAT TONGUE
This has been a struggle of mine all of my life. It seems as though that little bitty thing in my mouth just lives a life all it's own. There are times when my mind is thinking one thing and 'plop' comes some thing out my mouth that wasn't even ran by the rest of me first!

Well, today as I was reading Chapter 3 some things came about. First let me just share a bit from the Message.
Verse 5-6 "It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell."
Have you ever had one of those moments where you knew that just the wrong word from your mouth could make or break the situation....or the heart of someone? I have! Matter of fact, there have been several times that I have spoken words to my children that as soon as they were out of my mouth and I saw their little eyes/faces reflect their feelings and I knew my words had done damage. Was that my intention? Of course it wasn't.
There have been times that in the heat of the moment, and sometimes just in normal conversation, my words to my husband have been anything but what I wanted to be said.
I realized that it isn't just the words, but the way in which that little rudder in my mouth makes those words sound that can be problematic. I also have come to realize that sometimes words just shouldn't come out at all.
You see I have this problem sometimes with just having to say something. Like something in me just can't let well enough alone, I just have to say something, anything.
Well in reflecting this chapter today it was impressed on me that I don't talk quite enough lately. I know that if you know me you are gripped in laughter right now....but really....
You see...my knees aren't callused! If my knees aren't calloused, then I am not talking to the One that will give me the words to use at just the right moment. I am lacking in prayer time. Yeah, I pray every day and yes I read the Word every day. But real prayer...gut wrenchin, soul searchin, spillin it all to my Daddy kind of prayin....well, there could be more of that. I don't want to open my mouth if He isn't telling me to open it.
James had a nickname. He was known as "Old Camel Knees". He spent so much time on his knees in prayer over the years that his knees became callused. His wisdom came from his time in prayer.
What an honor to carry that name! What a call to action! He was living it! He was practicing what he preached and he had physical evidence of such!

 Lord I love You and I want more of You! I want the knees of a camel and the reflection of You in my life God!

Change your clothes!!

So, I really feel like I just need to share this with you today. It is so empowering and God's love is so amazing. But I think we, at least I, sometimes forget that the power of the Holy Spirit is within us. We have only to ask and He is right here to guide, help, comfort, teach, and so much more.

The thing that stood out to me more than anything today, though, is that it is up to me to put on the clothes He has given me. I can choose to bow down to my circumstances and allow them to dictate the outcome, or I can put on the clothing that Jesus has made specifically for me and go out filled with His love and do His work. Seems like a simple enough choice, but some days are harder than others. So Father I lift up to You all those reading this and all those submerged in their circumstances that they just feel Your love right now, hear Your words speaking into their lives, and have the courage You place on them to go out into this world and effect a change for You.

From Love Letters from God pp128-129

"My dear child,

Arise! Arise and shine, for I have delivered you! And at this moment I am here with you. Yes, I am! I'm by your side, waiting for you to turn to Me. Waiting for you to allow Me to help you.

Let go! Let go of the burdens that you're carrying. Let go of the cares you have taken upon yourself. Just let go. Give them to Me. Give them all to Me. Give them to me one by one. Release those cares. Feel yourself lifted higher and higher as you give Me everything that has been weighing you down. Let go of everything that has you bound and depressed and discouraged. Those things are not from Me. In My Son's name, let go of everything oppressing you right now. Just let go! Let go!

That's right! Do it and be free in My Son's name. Be free to be what I've called you to be. My child, take a deep breath; hold it for a count of four. Now let it out. Slowly exhale and as you do, the tension in your body will be washed away.

Again, My child, breathe in deeply. Breathe in the Holy Spirit. Inhale love; exhale love. Allow the Holy Spirit to do a mighty work within you. Allow the Holy Spirit to cleanse you, refresh you. Just meditate on His indwelling you and filling you with peace and contentment.

Again, breathe in deeply, think of yourself as getting bigger and stronger inside as you allow the Holy Spirit to have full reign in you. As you exhale slowly, receive My love flowing through you to your surroundings. Now your presence has created peace in your own environment, because I am with you.

Love is there with you, in you, around you. People are affected by your presence because you walk in love.

Do not allow yourself to be bowed down with the spirit of heaviness. Instead, put on the garment of praise. Lift up those hands that hang down. Lift up your voice to God. Pray in the Spirit. Pray in understanding, and magnify the LORD.

Now close your eyes and continue to praise My holy name, for I inhabit the praises of My people. Shout Hallelujah! You're free because I have set you free.

Love, God"

author Robert Schluter

so refreshing

Ahhhh!
I was feeling really stir crazy, so I bundled up and headed outside. It was wonderful! The snow was coming down....there were mounds of snow all over the place. I just walked and talked to Dad and really just felt so much stress leave me. The cold air is so refreshing and the sunshine reflecting off the snow so beautiful! I don't know, there is just something about being out in nature that allows me to get closer to Jesus. It is like the barriers just break down and there is nothing that is in the way of that connection. The noise of the world seems to just stop...even though there is noise out there it isn't the same as being confined somewhere. And when I just still my mind and focus I can actually hear the leaves and the birds and the air (I know that sounds strange, but stillness really does have a sound).
Thank You Father for the beauty that is nature and that I have the freedom to just go enjoy it whenever I feel the need. You are the greatest Artist! You are my Provider, my Healer, my Best Friend, my Love........I could go on and on, so easier said You are my Everything.

Momma said there'd be days like this....

Ugh! That is all I can say about this day thus far. But......I know that Jesus has promised better for me. I know that Jesus has already won this situation and there is victory in His Name that brings all glory to Him.
My normal response to this type of morning would have been to just start comforting myself with food....and not necessarily food that is good for me. I would have just started a pitty party for myself and let the thing last all day long if it felt like it could.
Not today! Today I have a different perspective. Today I know that with faith I can get through. Today I know that the food is not my comfort, my Father is. Today I know that His promises stand and I may not know what the outcome looks like but He does. He will not forget, He will not ignore. So......how can I worry about or stew in something that His hand is already on.
Plan for the day......continue to eat well.....maybe go for a walk in this beautiful falling snow....drink water as if it were coffee and love it.....smile! My God is with me and won't let me fail in His strength, so how can I not smile. He delights in me!!! See........there it is..........my smile! The world may not look as I want it to today, but my joy can't be shaken!
Have a wonderful day my friends!

Isaiah 62:2-4
The nations shall see your righteousness, and all the kings your glory, and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give. You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her, and your land Married, for the Lord delights in you, and your land shall be married."