Last night, something happened in my world that really shook it. I mean, it just really drove a stake in my heart and the only, and I mean only thing I could do, was fall on my face before my Daddy. I went to bed feeling totally deflated, totally unworthy of being in a relationship, totally unworthy of kingdom work, just really letting the lies of satan fall upon my heart and really feeling as though I was just done. I was ready to give up on every thing, including every good thing (and there are so many) that my God has entrusted me with. I felt shame for how I handled a situation, shame at how I had let this into my heart....can I tell you shame is NOT of my Father. I know this in my core, but sometimes what I forget to remember is that I am also human and as much as I love Jesus, I still stumble.
Can I tell you that my Father listens! He listened as I cried out
to Him, as I really just spat on Him, telling Him that all these
things He has said about me, has placed in my care, has entrusted me
with were not only not good enough but that I didn't trust Him with
me. HELLO!? I am so thankful that my Daddy loves me so much that He
just sat there and let me unload. He just held on to me even more
tightly, even though I was so involved in self at that moment that I
couldn't stop the thoughts or words, He just loved me and let me
grieve what my flesh was grieving. He didn't interrupt my plight. He
didn't deliver an immediate peace, and believe me that was completely
for my benefit! HE LET ME DO WHAT I
THOUGHT I NEEDED
TO DO IN THAT MOMENT. Can I tell you I cried myself to sleep, just
sobbing, just praying Daddy please take this, please fix in me what
it is that creates these issues, please fix in me that which is not
of You so that I can quit this junk that is getting in your way.
you know what happened next? You aren't going to believe this! I fell
asleep, still crying, still in that funk of a place, still in
disbelief that I should be where I am today. Another thing that
happened is that I was woke up several times throughout the night to
just pray. I can't even tell you what I was praying in those moments,
I just woke up and literally was in prayer as my eyes opened and then
sleep again came. I woke up looking so pretty ya'll, oh my!
got myself up out of the bed this morning and didn't really notice
that I felt different, just realized that my eyes burned (imagine
that, lol). I came upstairs, got some coffee and flipped the tv on
just in time to for Joyce Meyers to pop up in front of me. Well, I
only got bits and pieces of what she was saying because as I sat
there “listening” to her, another message was being spoken to me.
One that she was confirming in the few lines I heard from her, but
God finally found me in a moment that I was just quiet and ready to
receive. Let me tell you that her show ended and Creflo Dollar came
on and same thing, a word here and there popped out just in time to
confirm something that I was receiving in my own personal message
this message, it countered EVERY thing that I had spat out at Him
last night. I mean to tell you that He countered every bad thought
with His truth, He countered every “but I can't” with a “I will
through you”. I had no leg to stand on and that is exactly where He
needed me to be. Not only did He counter me and put this Love and
Direction on me, He gave me the plan in which it needs to happen. You
see, when God puts an anointing on your life, nothing and nobody can
put a stop to it, NOT EVEN ME (you)! He made me! He created me for
something and He has set my life in motion and allowed things to
happen as He saw fit TO PREPARE my way. This is a heart prep, a life
prep, a financial prep.
Oh my goodness, my hands want to type so many different things, because He placed so much in me the desire to walk ahead with patience and reminded me that sometimes as He unfolds a story for me, it is not necessarily for today.
So, that being said, I just want to remind you that your Daddy wants all of your junk! All of it! He doesn't get offended when we come to Him with questions, with doubt, with worry....no....He delights in the fact that we have come to Him and He wants, no DELIGHTS in, His children being real with Him and not being afraid to come to Him with it all.
Luke 1:37-38 "For nothing is impossible with God. Mary responded, "I am the Lord's servant. May everything You have said about me come true."
Psalm 46:1-3 "God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!"