This morning I went to the grocery store. Yes, that is something that I do at least once a week but today was much different. You see, for the first time in many years, I had to go through the store with my calculator in my hand knowing that even the small amount I was allowing myself to spend on food was too much because now I would not meet one of the bills. It was quite humbling.
As I entered the store, my stomach started turning. I knew that I was only here for the very basic of things and couldn't afford anything more. The boys were with me, and I had to tell them no so many times, and each time my heart broke a little more. As I was going down the aisles looking for the specific things on my list, my past came back to me. The days of hot dogs and peanut butter and jelly. The days of milk being something that we might get once a month if lucky. I never really thought I would see these days again.
This got my mind to wondering. How long will it be before all of our luxuries are removed? How long before the phone is shut off and the computer is just a space taker? This is where the Lord stepped in. He gently reminded me that He will feed me....even if it is the very tiniest of morsels, I will be fed. He will provide shelter....even if I have to give up all the things that I am used to having, like the phone, the internet, the cable. He will not leave me. In Matthew 6:25-34, He says (Jesus spoke this!)
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, " What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
How can I doubt my Creator? He made me! He knows every hair on my head! He knows my heart! He knows each and every need and desire! He will not let me perish for I am His. I may not be able to provide for my family, but He can and will! It occurs to me how much I love my family, and how strong a desire I have to provide every little thing that they need and want......this is not even a close match to the love Jesus has for us. How then could I worry? Thank You Jesus for all that You provide, for all that You share of Yourself, for all that I cannot even put into words!!