Thursday, February 5, 2009

crazy dream

So, I had a dream....funny that should be what brings me back to my writing.....

So, last night I had a dream. It was very real to me. It was in different a play, only no curtains closed. I won't go into the details, because I really don't see that it would do much, other than color my message.
In each scene, there was a person from my past. Each of these people were people that had deeply hurt it physically or mentally. Each of these people were in a situation in which he/she was a victim of some a lot of pain either emotionally or physically, down on his/her luck, homeless, etc. But each was struggling. In each situation, I just happened to meet up with these people. In each of these situations, I stopped and took the time to speak to and help out each of these people. Each time I had done all I could do and moved on from that person, the scene ended with me sitting at a stream holding a little bag with a fish in it. Each time the fish had the face of the person I had just helped out and I would release it back into the stream. Then the next situation would arrive....the same thing again....I would help that person out and then would be at the stream.
The last person that I helped out was my ex-husband. This one I will tell because it was so powerful.
I was on my way to the store. There was a group of homeless men standing in front of a building. I saw that he was one of those men, but he kept hiding away...he didn't want me to see him. I didn't go away, instead I went right up to him. He tried to get me to leave him alone, said he wasn't worth the help and definitely not from me. I explained to him that it wasn't me that was helping him, I was only doing as the Lord instructed me to do. He had put us in this situation for a reason and I was not to question but obey. I told him to get in the car. I took him home to my house and made him clean himself up. I fed him and showed him to a cot in a room that I didn't even know I had...but there it was. It held a cot, a small dresser and a lampstand. On the lampstand was a Bible. I told him to rest...and if he couldn't then maybe he should read a little. My husband came home from work and I told him what had happened and he said "Well, I wouldn't have expected anything else of you. Where is he?" I told him. He simply said "ok" and we went on with our evening as though nothing strange was going on. The following morning, I went to wake the ex and give him a meal.....I walked into the room and he was reading. He began to ask me questions and I answered as best I could and showed him in the Bible as I did so. I didn't see him for a couple days and then all of a sudden there he was again. Only this time he had a Bible tucked under his arm, he was clean shaven and was ok. He said he knew what he had to do...thanked me for forgiving him and helping him out and he left. I went to the room to clean it up but it wasn't there. This time, I didn't end up at the stream. This time I was in a room before a judge...only I couldn't see the person speaking to me. I was asked some questions and I answered them as truthfully as I could. He asked me why I had helped these people and I told Him that it wasn't up to me if I was to help them, I was told to do so and so I did. He said to me " are a fisher of men and must simply helping them your own pain has been you have more to you are ready.... go and obey...."
I woke up and all that kept going through my head was this last am still sitting here this realm of disbelief.....I tried to dig out the pain of a couple of these situations, and there isn't any....I mean the situations are still there, I remember the pain but it isn't like it was even yesterday.....I would just think of one of these people and all the hurts were wrapped all around me.....this morning, it feels as though it is armour and not pain.....I don't know how else to explain is as though it was just all washed away and now I can pull it up and speak of it and it doesn't pull me is all I can say is wow.....