martha world

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" 'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'" Luke 10:38-42

How often do I get caught up in the things that "must" get done? How often do I feel that urgency to sit down with my Father, but I just can't right now because _________? Do I feel sometimes that I would love to just go sit and hear a sermon instead of working the nursery/coffee shop/front desk/greeting position? Yeah.....I have been there. I must have to admit, there was a period of time in my life that it was all about the work and not much about Him.
Now, I am not at all saying that I didn't love Him, because I did. What I am saying is that I didn't realize that in these times of "trying" , "working", "doing" I was not seeking. I was not sitting at His feet. I think it began to be about what others saw, what others thought. I was afraid if I didn't participate in every little thing that I was asked into or do everything that I saw needed done I would somehow feel inadequate. I have come to realize that there are times when it is ok, and even healthy, to say no. I have come to see that when I overextend myself and don't sit with my Dad, it becomes just busy work with no real benefit to anyone. 
Lord, I just ask that You teach me how to just sit with You. Just show me how to be a vessel for You and not a work horse for me. Lord open my eyes to see what You have before me and move me off the beaten path that I sometimes stumble upon.

Today...

So I haven't written in quite some time and today it occured to me that I really miss it. I began this blogging journey primarily as a journal, and somewhere along the way abandoned that notion.
So, beginning right now, I am going to begin again. I am going to try to get on once a day if for no other reason than to journal my prayers and thoughts.
God has really been working in my life and things are changing so quickly and drastically that I sometimes feel as though I am on a boat in the middle of the ocean just watchin the waves all around me. Not that I am afraid of the storm, or that it is really even a storm, but just so much change.
I am reading a book right now by Jim Cymbala called "Spirit Rising Tapping Into The Power of the Holy Spirit". Wow! This book is sooooo thought provoking and so life changing. I don't think I have ever marked up a book like I am doing this one. So, I am just going to quote a few things that are really speaking to me right now.

"...we need to keep on being controlled by the Spirit if we want to live wisely, to understand the Lord's will for our lives, and to make the most of every opportunity. If we're not Spirit-controlled, we will miss out on being what God wants us to be." 

pp 40-41

"Without the help of the Holy Spirit to understand the meaning of what we read, we're susceptible to reading our own biases into God's Holy Word." pp 62

"The Spirit doesn't put Band-Aids on anything-he goes to the core of your problems to provide help. Likewise, preaching that is anointed by the Holy Spirit is fiery preaching." 

pp 69

I mean this stuff is good stuff!!! I think somewhere along the way we, at least I know I, get complacent and I read the Bible and I pray but I sometimes forget that Holy Spirit needs to be invited into each and every moment of my day. If I am reading something, I need to pray for revelation. If I am speaking to someone, I need to pray for words. If I am called upon to help someone, I need to pray for words/actions. And even my thoughts....I need to pray for Holy Spirit to even guide my thoughts minute by minute. Holy Spirit reign down on me. Change my life. I need You to live, to breathe, to be.