My Words Are Not My Own

"He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT)

As I look back on my life, there are many very painful situations. Situations that I, at the time, couldn't see through the pain I was in. So many times I asked God "why? why me? what did i do to deserve this? what can i do to stop this?" Through these times I felt alone....I felt like it was all I could do to lift my head to start a new day....it was sometimes physically painful to just keep breathing. I remember thinking that I had to have done something unforgivable to be living through what I was in. And I kept going......and I kept hurting, feeling......and I just kept telling myself that someday my life would be different.
Someday came....after many more situations that I just knew I wasn't going to make it through. Some day came....after many more times of questioning God why it was me He was picking on.
Some day came....when I didn't think I could go to the funeral of one more person I love.
Some day came......when I realized that He loved me so much that He held me through those times
I realized that God had let me feel a little like His son.......beaten down, spit upon, called names, brutalized, having those he loved so much turn their backs and walk away......and out of all that pain, He taught me!
He taught me that no matter what happens in this world, He is with me. He taught me that if I turn the other cheek, He will heal the wound. He taught me that if I don't strike back but forgive, my heart aches for the person striking the blow instead of wishing bad things. He has taught me that the person who hurt me the most in this world ... the person that I should fear most ... is His child, too.
Guys, today I see that if I had not endured what I have, I would not be able to help others. Sure, I may be able to tell a person I am sorry and mean it......I may be able to give a hug or a smile and make a little difference.......but no....today, I can share with someone in pain how my Lord, my saviour delivered me. I can share that I know how devistating it is in this situation, but this is where your Father can put you if you just let Him love you!
Today.....I feel blessed. I know that I have been through so many things that I could be bitter for, but I am instead thankful to have been carried through these things rather have been delivered from them because today I can say with no waiver of doubt that my God saves.....my God loves....my God is awesome! and my God loves me! No matter what I have done...no matter where I have been.......when I gave Him my life, He washed me clean and He meets me where I am when I turn to Him:
As the song says....
He ran to me
took me in his arms
held my head to his chest
said my son's come home again
lifted my face
wiped the tears from my eyes
with forgiveness in his voice he said son do you know i still love you
yes i love you