It has been over a year that I have been locked out of this account......hallelujah!!! I got in! I got in!
Here we go yo! So excited right now!

Tuesday is the New Wednesday

Let me just start by saying this, I am a list girl! Boy, that statement is such an admission, and will hopefully make some sense in a few moments.

A friend made this comment on a facebook post today, Wednesday is the new Tuesday. It was pretty funny in the context of the conversation, but it sank deeper into my spirit.
How many times do I get up with the intention of getting all of these things on my to do list checked off today?
How many times do I tell myself, today is the day I will....?
I can assure you, it is often. So when I don't accomplish ALL of these things by the end of the day, I feel defeated, to say the least, and already somewhat overwhelmed in trying to tuck them somewhere in to the next day's list. Basically I am rehearsing my troubles for yet another day, a day that hasn't even yet become my reality.
Anyway, I read this comment this morning and I couldn't help thanking my Father that today, Wednesday, with it's name, it's label, is just a day like any other. Today is the day that He has made and He already knows where my feet will step, what my mouth will speak and what my heart will encounter. I realized that this day called Wednesday is still THIS day and there is so much more to do in it than make some check marks off MY list of things that seem TO ME to be urgent enough to put on this list, aka my prison cell.

Today, I throw my list out! Ok, so I may not really throw it out, but my mindset about it is going to change! Today, God, my list begins and ends with keeping my eyes focused on You and YOUR list for me today. Place on my heart those things that are of importance to You that I accomplish in this time. Allow me opportunities to meet with people and share You with them in this time. Allow me to experience sheer joy and be in complete awe of all that You have placed around me, the beauty of nature and the people that I will encounter. Help me to go to those places that others may not wish to in order to bring You into a situation or a place so that lives will be changed. Thank You, Father, for this new list. For this I will gladly rise and lay down complete in knowing that today, I walked with my Daddy and learned yet another thing. You say in Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Father, today and every day coming, teach me Your ways and help me carry the yoke You have placed on me and allow me the wisdom to know when it is time to rest.

I Have a Plan for You

Last night, something happened in my world that really shook it. I mean, it just really drove a stake in my heart and the only, and I mean only thing I could do, was fall on my face before my Daddy. I went to bed feeling totally deflated, totally unworthy of being in a relationship, totally unworthy of kingdom work, just really letting the lies of satan fall upon my heart and really feeling as though I was just done. I was ready to give up on every thing, including every good thing (and there are so many) that my God has entrusted me with. I felt shame for how I handled a situation, shame at how I had let this into my heart....can I tell you shame is NOT of my Father. I know this in my core, but sometimes what I forget to remember is that I am also human and as much as I love Jesus, I still stumble.
Can I tell you that my Father listens! He listened as I cried out to Him, as I really just spat on Him, telling Him that all these things He has said about me, has placed in my care, has entrusted me with were not only not good enough but that I didn't trust Him with me. HELLO!? I am so thankful that my Daddy loves me so much that He just sat there and let me unload. He just held on to me even more tightly, even though I was so involved in self at that moment that I couldn't stop the thoughts or words, He just loved me and let me grieve what my flesh was grieving. He didn't interrupt my plight. He didn't deliver an immediate peace, and believe me that was completely for my benefit! HE LET ME DO WHAT I THOUGHT I NEEDED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT. Can I tell you I cried myself to sleep, just sobbing, just praying Daddy please take this, please fix in me what it is that creates these issues, please fix in me that which is not of You so that I can quit this junk that is getting in your way.
Do you know what happened next? You aren't going to believe this! I fell asleep, still crying, still in that funk of a place, still in disbelief that I should be where I am today. Another thing that happened is that I was woke up several times throughout the night to just pray. I can't even tell you what I was praying in those moments, I just woke up and literally was in prayer as my eyes opened and then sleep again came. I woke up looking so pretty ya'll, oh my!
I got myself up out of the bed this morning and didn't really notice that I felt different, just realized that my eyes burned (imagine that, lol). I came upstairs, got some coffee and flipped the tv on just in time to for Joyce Meyers to pop up in front of me. Well, I only got bits and pieces of what she was saying because as I sat there “listening” to her, another message was being spoken to me. One that she was confirming in the few lines I heard from her, but God finally found me in a moment that I was just quiet and ready to receive. Let me tell you that her show ended and Creflo Dollar came on and same thing, a word here and there popped out just in time to confirm something that I was receiving in my own personal message from Daddy.
Now this message, it countered EVERY thing that I had spat out at Him last night. I mean to tell you that He countered every bad thought with His truth, He countered every “but I can't” with a “I will through you”. I had no leg to stand on and that is exactly where He needed me to be. Not only did He counter me and put this Love and Direction on me, He gave me the plan in which it needs to happen. You see, when God puts an anointing on your life, nothing and nobody can put a stop to it, NOT EVEN ME (you)! He made me! He created me for something and He has set my life in motion and allowed things to happen as He saw fit TO PREPARE my way. This is a heart prep, a life prep, a financial prep.
Oh my goodness, my hands want to type so many different things, because He placed so much in me the desire to walk ahead with patience and reminded me that sometimes as He unfolds a story for me, it is not necessarily for today. 
So, that being said, I just want to remind you that your Daddy wants all of your junk! All of it! He doesn't get offended when we come to Him with questions, with doubt, with worry....no....He delights in the fact that we have come to Him and He wants, no DELIGHTS in, His children being real with Him and not being afraid to come to Him with it all.
Luke 1:37-38 "For nothing is impossible with God. Mary responded, "I am the Lord's servant. May everything You have said about me come true."
Psalm 46:1-3 "God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!"

Words....

I know I have written about this at some time or another, but today I just keep thinking about words. The words we speak over others. The words we speak into situations. The words we write (cuz you know if we don't say them they aren't as powerful, right). The words we think.
I have someone in my life that addresses my little ones as princes, sometimes kings. I have been paying attention to the relationship that he has with my boys and I am learning so much. He is all about words. He reminds me that when God spoke, it was. And God has given us this authority.
How do you choose to speak today? Into situations? About others? To others?
Lord today I just ask that You use my words only to help, encourage, uplift, and grow others. God just close my lips if they should need to say anything that doesn't bring life and that doesn't glorify You!

Smoke Free in the Fire Zone

Daniel 26-30
"Then Nebuchadnezzar came near to the door of the burning fiery furnace; he declared, "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out, and come here!" Then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came out of the fire. And the satraps, the prefects, the governors, and the king's counselors gathered together and saw that the fire had not had any power over the bodies of those men. The hair of their heads was not singed, their cloaks were not harmed, and no smell of fire had come upon them. Nebuchadnezzar answered and said, "Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who has sent his angel and delivered his servants, who trusted in him, and set aside the king's command, and yielded up their bodies rather than serve and worship any god except their own God. Therefore, I make a decree: Any people, nation, or language that speaks anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego shall be torn limb from limb, and their houses laid in ruins, for there is no other god who is able to rescue in this way. Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the province of Babylon."

This is the word God gave me this morning as I was struggling. Today held for me the possibility of my life changing in a very drastic, very sad way. I went to bed in prayer, thanking God for every second I have been able to spend in this. I woke this morning again in prayer before I even opened my eyes. I asked God to please speak something to me, show something to me, that would just fill me with peace. I leaned over and grabbed my Bible and opened it and this is what He delivered.
You see, I had been playing scenes out in my mind, different ways that this situation could go. I was praying, but I wasn't relying on God and I wasn't really thankful for the situation, either. I mean, don't you sometimes find it hard to be thankful for the struggles of this world? I know I do. And I really like to just hold on to them and try to determine what to do alone, in my own power and then tend to go to Him after I mess it up. But there it was......I picked up the Bible....I closed my eyes, opened it, laid my finger down and BAM!
The fire (my struggle) had no power over those men (me)!! Not a hair was singed, not a stitch of clothing marred or burned, there was no harm over them! Why? BECAUSE THEY REFUSED TO WORSHIP ANY OTHER GOD!!!
I realized that in a sense, I was worshipping this situation. I was allowing the situation, not God, to control me, my thoughts, my actions. In that moment, I laid it at the cross. I apologized to God and I gave it to Him....I mean really gave it to Him. I thanked Him for whatever the outcome should look like, and I determined that I would still glorify His name, I would still love Him and I would still cling to Him no matter the outcome. I would still be thankful, even in this storm.
Do you know that God showed up in such a mighty way that even I was shocked. I stepped out of the situation and allowed Him room to do His thing and oh how He delivered! Not only did I get put in my place about the worshipping of idols, but also reminded that His grace is always sufficient and it isn't just for me! He is in the business of forgiveness and second chances and if I am to serve Him and love Him and honor Him, well I had better be about His business!
So today....a new beginning has bloomed. A new season that I can only hope I can to walk in the way to bring glory and honor to His name.
Lord I just thank You so much for Your always perfect arrival. You arrive on time and You always provide in just the right way, even when it looks nothing like I had envisioned, or even thought about. Father I love You and I am so very thankful that You have such patience with me, that You remind me so gently, yet so powerfully, Who is always, always in control. Nothing surprises You. Therefore, nothing should worry me. I love You Father and I just stand in awe of You. Please help me run this race strong and with integrity and that You keep before me Your gentle ways that I may grow to be more like You. Jesus I thank You!

martha world

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" 'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'" Luke 10:38-42

How often do I get caught up in the things that "must" get done? How often do I feel that urgency to sit down with my Father, but I just can't right now because _________? Do I feel sometimes that I would love to just go sit and hear a sermon instead of working the nursery/coffee shop/front desk/greeting position? Yeah.....I have been there. I must have to admit, there was a period of time in my life that it was all about the work and not much about Him.
Now, I am not at all saying that I didn't love Him, because I did. What I am saying is that I didn't realize that in these times of "trying" , "working", "doing" I was not seeking. I was not sitting at His feet. I think it began to be about what others saw, what others thought. I was afraid if I didn't participate in every little thing that I was asked into or do everything that I saw needed done I would somehow feel inadequate. I have come to realize that there are times when it is ok, and even healthy, to say no. I have come to see that when I overextend myself and don't sit with my Dad, it becomes just busy work with no real benefit to anyone. 
Lord, I just ask that You teach me how to just sit with You. Just show me how to be a vessel for You and not a work horse for me. Lord open my eyes to see what You have before me and move me off the beaten path that I sometimes stumble upon.

Today...

So I haven't written in quite some time and today it occured to me that I really miss it. I began this blogging journey primarily as a journal, and somewhere along the way abandoned that notion.
So, beginning right now, I am going to begin again. I am going to try to get on once a day if for no other reason than to journal my prayers and thoughts.
God has really been working in my life and things are changing so quickly and drastically that I sometimes feel as though I am on a boat in the middle of the ocean just watchin the waves all around me. Not that I am afraid of the storm, or that it is really even a storm, but just so much change.
I am reading a book right now by Jim Cymbala called "Spirit Rising Tapping Into The Power of the Holy Spirit". Wow! This book is sooooo thought provoking and so life changing. I don't think I have ever marked up a book like I am doing this one. So, I am just going to quote a few things that are really speaking to me right now.

"...we need to keep on being controlled by the Spirit if we want to live wisely, to understand the Lord's will for our lives, and to make the most of every opportunity. If we're not Spirit-controlled, we will miss out on being what God wants us to be." 

pp 40-41

"Without the help of the Holy Spirit to understand the meaning of what we read, we're susceptible to reading our own biases into God's Holy Word." pp 62

"The Spirit doesn't put Band-Aids on anything-he goes to the core of your problems to provide help. Likewise, preaching that is anointed by the Holy Spirit is fiery preaching." 

pp 69

I mean this stuff is good stuff!!! I think somewhere along the way we, at least I know I, get complacent and I read the Bible and I pray but I sometimes forget that Holy Spirit needs to be invited into each and every moment of my day. If I am reading something, I need to pray for revelation. If I am speaking to someone, I need to pray for words. If I am called upon to help someone, I need to pray for words/actions. And even my thoughts....I need to pray for Holy Spirit to even guide my thoughts minute by minute. Holy Spirit reign down on me. Change my life. I need You to live, to breathe, to be.